


Light and Darkness

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: M/M, Romance, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-06-03
Updated: 2000-06-03
Packaged: 2018-11-10 14:00:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11128335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Ray Kowalski desperately needs Fraser's help and love.





	Light and Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

Due South and all its characters belong to Alliance Communications.

Views to:

Time: A year after Call of the Wild. A stand alone romance story. Enjoy! 

LIGHT AND DARKNESS

by Callie

**"Love is the only game that is not called on account of darkness"**

Lieutenant Harding Welsh stood quietly at the bedroom door watching his friend sleep. It was not a restful slumber as the slender man tossed and turned mumbling in his sleep. He cried out and Welsh moved forward leaning over the bed gently stroking the blonde hair in an effort to soothe his friend.

"Frase?" Ray mumbled opening his eyes in confusion.

"No," Welsh whispered. "Go back to sleep Ray."

Ray turned on his side closing his eyes. Satisfied that his friend was asleep again, the lieutenant turned back into the living room. Slumping onto the couch, Welsh reflected on the events of the past month. Detective Stanley Raymond Kowalski had left the 27 th precinct to meet with the Assistant District Attorney; he had never made the meeting. After an exhaustive search, he had been found unconscious in an alleyway by a passing patrolman having been viciously beaten and left for dead. 

The breaks and bruises to his slender body would eventually heal with time, but he had been left permanently blind from the severe head injuries he had suffered at the hands of his still unknown attacker. Never again would those expressive pale eyes that seemed to change colour in the light witness a sunrise or sunset. The lieutenant sighed heavily suddenly feeling very old. The slender detective had taken the news very badly sinking into a deep depression that threatened to overwhelm him. 

Ray remained locked within himself afraid. He hardly spoke, didn't eat properly, and stubbornly refused to see anyone from the precinct. He never left the safety of his apartment only allowing the Lieutenant to visit. Welsh couldn't bear to watch the young man wither away in front of his eyes so he had gone against his friend's wishes and made a telephone call hoping with all his heart that Ray would forgive him and understand the reasons for his actions.

***************

Newly promoted Sergeant Benton Fraser looked up at the apartment building. It seemed like a long time since he had been here, and a lot had happened in the last year. After the Muldoon case, the R.C.M.P. had welcomed him back to their ranks, and he had transferred back to the Northwest Territories. He should have been happy, but he wasn't. 

While out on lonely long patrols, he had finally admitted to himself that part of the reason for leaving Chicago and the reason for his unhappiness was the fact that he had fallen deeply in love with his blonde haired partner. He hadn't wanted to hurt Ray and had been frightened that he would lose Ray's friendship forever if he admitted his feelings to his friend. So he had done the best thing for both of them; he had run away.

They had written to each other and spoken on the telephone when Fraser wasn't on patrol in the wilderness. Growing tired of the long lonely patrols and wanting to settle in one place, Fraser had finally accepted a posting and promotion in a small town looking after a territory of a few thousand kilometres. The telephone call from Lieutenant Welsh had brought him back to Chicago having arranged a hurried short leave of absence. Taking a deep breath, he started up the steps of the apartment building.

"Constable, or should I say Sergeant," Lieutenant Welsh opened the door for him. "Welcome back to Chicago. You have been missed."

Fraser smiled at the older man. "Good morning Lieutenant," he offered his hand, and Welsh took it shaking it warmly. "I am sorry I couldn't come earlier, but I have been out on patrol for three weeks."

"No matter Sergeant. You are here now, and that's what is important," Welsh said quietly. "And frankly I was at loss at what else to do."

"How is Ray?" Fraser asked concern showing in his voice.

"Not good. He's just shutting himself off from everyone and everything. I hope you can help him," Welsh said, tears springing to his eyes. "He won't go out. He hardly eats anything. He's.....he's just wasting away."

Fraser regarded the older man. "I am not sure if I can help, but I promise I'll do my best."

Welsh patted his shoulder. "I know you will. Try and make him see that he is worth something to someone. Right now, I think he needs that. He needs you. But he just won't admit to himself."

Fraser blushed despite himself. "Lieutenant....," Fraser stuttered.

The Lieutenant waved his hand dismissively. "He calls out for you in his sleep all the time. Just try and help him," Welsh pleaded.

"Understood," Fraser replied looking down at his boots.

Welsh studied the Mountie for a moment. "I think you need him as well Ben," he said quietly. Fraser's head snapped up at the comment and the use of his first name. He blushed a deep shade of red again making the older man grin. "Thought so," Welsh patted his shoulder again as he opened the door to the building. Fraser bid the older man a farewell and started up the stairs towards his best friend's apartment.

*************

After the lieutenant had left, Ray settled himself on the couch staring distractedly ahead. He could see in his mind's eye his bookcase filled with his collection of classics. Tears stung at his eyes as he thought angrily of never again being able to read his beloved books. He was desperately trying to come to terms with his blindness, but it was so difficult as he thought about all the things he would never see again. 

When he had first woken up in the hospital, he could make out blurred shapes and bright colours, but his vision had gradually faded into the now familiar blackness that his attacker had condemned him to live in. He only knew how to be a policemen; now he felt worthless, isolated and frightened of a city that he couldn't see. Feeling restless and miserable, he slowly got up making his way towards the kitchen, his good arm outstretched in front of him. Lieutenant Welsh had helped him organise his apartment so he could find his way around without falling over. A loud knock at the door made him jump, and he changed direction reaching for the handle. Opening the door, he stepped back knowing instinctively who was standing in the corridor.

"Frase," he stammered.

"Good morning Ray," Fraser said brightly moving into the apartment, not waiting for an invitation.

"Come in, why don't ya," Ray said shutting the door carefully and moving back towards the couch.

"Thank you kindly Ray," Fraser replied sitting down in one of the overstuffed armchairs. Fraser studied his partner carefully as he slowly limped back to the couch noting that Ray had lost a tremendous amount of weight evidenced by the fact that his clothes hung loosely on his slender frame. Fading yellow bruises on his face and neck were still apparent a month after his attack and his right arm was encased in a plaster cast. 

However, it was his clear blue eyes that struck the Mountie the most; Fraser used to think that they were a window to his friend's soul recalling how they sparkled with humour and mischief. On occasion, they had also flashed with anger, grief and pain. The blue eyes that stared at him now were dull and lifeless matching the unhappy demeanour that seemed to encompass his friend. Suddenly, he was glad that he had made the long journey, and a fierce determination to help his partner gripped him. 

Fraser straightened up preparing himself and his emotions. He knew he would have to be careful; Ray had always been perceptive, but without his sight Fraser knew that his other senses would be heightened. Ray had already known it was him at the door before he had even uttered a word.

"So how are ya doing Frase?" Ray asked startling Fraser out of his reverie.

"I am fine Ray. I have taken a posting and a promotion based in a small community although my detachment and I have responsibility for a large area covering a few thousand kilometres," Fraser explained.

"A promotion?" Ray asked sounding genuinely impressed.

"Yes. I am now a Sergeant," Fraser replied. "A small house goes with the posting. I have a team of dogs and Dief is very happy. Although he misses his supply of jelly doughnuts."

Ray smiled. "I'm glad for ya Frase. Really I am," he murmured.

The men sat in silence for a few moments. "How did you know it was me?" Fraser asked curious. He didn't know what else to say, and he sensed that Ray didn't want to discuss the attack.

"Smelled yer leather," Ray muttered. "Ya always smelled of leather."

"Oh," was all Fraser could utter. "I am sorry I couldn't come earlier. I have been out on patrol. My last official long patrol."

Ray smiled weakly. "Don't matter Frase. I didn't really want ya to come," he said quietly. "I asked the lieutenant not to call ya."

"I know. He told me," Fraser said. "He's very worried about you."

"He needn't be. I'm..... I'm good. Just kinda don't ... don't see too good," Ray choked. "He shouldn't have called and made ya come all this way."

Fraser thought his heart was going to break at the sadness in his partner's words. "Ray, I thought we were friends. Of course, I wanted to come and see you," he scolded lightly. "You should have called me. I had to hear the news of your attack from Lieutenant Welsh."

Ray shivered apparently lost for a moment in a frightening memory. "Sorry Frase," he murmured tears springing to his eyes. He wiped at them embarrassed. 

Fraser immediately moved sitting close to his friend on the couch. Cautiously he put his arm around the smaller man's shoulders. The blonde detective turned his head into Fraser's shoulder and the Mountie gently embraced him. "Sorry," Ray sobbed. "So sorry."

Fraser tightened his arms protectively. "Ssshh. It's alright. I just want to help you. Let me help you," he begged.

Ray pulled out of the embrace looking up towards Fraser's face. "Nobody can help me. I can't ...... can't see. I never..... never will again," he cried. "At first I could kinda see light, but now..... now it's just dark. And....and I'm frightened," he choked tears flowing unchecked down his face. "It's just so dark."

"Oh Ray. I am so sorry," Fraser pulled him back into a tight hug. "I didn't know." He loved this man so desperately and wanted to shield him from any further hurt and pain. Fraser gently rubbed his friend's back as Ray sobbed wretchedly into his shoulder. As the slender detective's trembling subsided, Fraser pushed him back offering him a tissue to wipe his eyes. 

"Right. Ray my friend. It is about time, you got out of the apartment so we are going for a walk to the park along the street. And then I am then going to prepare something for you to eat. By the look of you, you could do with a good meal," he announced firmly getting off the couch pulling at Ray's arm.

"I can't go out," Ray croaked a hint of fear showing in his voice.

Fraser sighed. "Ray. There is nothing to be afraid off. I will be with you all the time. I won't let you fall or trip over," he persuaded. "I promise."

Ray hesitated for a moment and then shrugged his shoulders getting slowly to his feet. "OK Frase. But if I fall over, its yer fault."

"Understood."

**************

Lieutenant Welsh allowed himself a small smile as he watched the partners come out of the building. Ray was clutching at the Mountie's arm tightly, but Fraser was determinedly guiding the smaller man along the road talking as he went. "I knew I was right to call him," he thought to himself as he put the car into gear pointing it in the direction of the 27 th precinct. "They'll both be OK now," Welsh smiled to himself.

**************Fraser trudged home through the snow. He had stayed in Chicago for a week and had eventually persuaded his partner to return with him to Canada for a holiday. Fraser was, however, beginning to think it hadn't been a good idea. Ray had been staying with him for two weeks now; his limp and bruises had faded, and the plaster cast had been removed. But he still remained quieter than usual, his old energy having seemed to have deserted him. On the outside, Ray seemed relieved to be out of the city, but deep inside Fraser knew that he was desperately unhappy and frustrated at his inability to carry out the simplest of tasks. 

They never spoke of his attack. Ray had no memory of his assault or of the events leading up to it, but on occasion his partner had terrible nightmares crying out in terror. Fraser always felt so helpless; he loved this man, and all he could do was hold Ray whispering soothing words until the smaller man dropped exhausted into sleep. A dark shroud seemed to surround his friend isolating him from the world and the people that loved him. He took a deep breath stamping his feet to get rid to the excess snow off his boots. He hesitated on the steps of his small house sniffing the air; he thought he could smell cooking coming from inside.

***************

After Fraser had left for work, Ray made his way aimlessly around the small living room. He cursed as his leg caught the edge of the coffee table that he had forgotten was there. "Kowalski. Ya just useless," he thought to himself. He moved over to the window feeling the warmth of the sun on his face. He squeezed his eyes shut trying to imagine what the blue sky looked like. He hated to admit it but he was terrified that he would forget what things looked like; the things he used to take for granted. He couldn't bear the thought, and he moved away from the window. "Stop feeling sorry for yerself," he admonished himself. He was glad he was away from Chicago, and in his heart he knew that he needed Fraser and was glad that the Mountie had come to see him. 

He would never admit it to anyone, and certainly not Fraser, but he loved the tall dark-haired Mountie, and had been in love with him for a long time. He would never admit it now; he didn't need anyone's pity. He tried to imagine Fraser's face, but his mind remained blank making him bite his lip hard to stifle the threatened tears.

Shaking the miserable thoughts from his head, he decided to venture outside. He grabbed his warm anorak shrugging in to it. His fingers fumbled with the zip, but he eventually managed to do up the coat. Wrapping a scarf around his neck, he grabbed for his hated white stick and opened the door. A blast of cold air hit him in the face, and he nearly turned back. "Ya were a detective with the CPD," he told himself as he grabbed for the handrail and carefully climbed down the steps. 

Fraser had coaxed him out of the safety of the house teaching him how to use the stick. The Mountie had insisted that he count out steps to each building in the small township making him memorise landmarks in an effort to make him feel confident in leaving the house alone. Ray had resisted at first, but the Mountie's gentle but firm persuading had eventually won out. At the small gate he turned right heading towards the small township. He carefully made his way along the street moving his stick left and right in front of him, as Fraser had taught him. 

Each morning, Ray found himself walking in the same direction, drawn by the sounds of their play. The children squealed in delight, and Ray knew that there was a snowball fight going on. He made for the bench he had found on the first morning he had ventured out alone; sitting down he closed his eyes letting the joy and happy sounds wash over his body. A voice startled him, and he sat up straight panicked.

"Hello," the voice said again. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you." 

Ray felt calmed by the soft female voice. "It's OK," he said looking in the direction of the soft voice. "Just kinda day dreaming."

"Oh day dreaming is so wonderful," the voice agreed. "You must be Sergeant Fraser's friend from Chicago. He's told us all about you," the woman explained pushing her small hand into Ray's slender one. "My name is Ilid Bennett, and I teach at the school."

Ray shook hands with the woman. "Ray Kowalski," he muttered. "Sounds like fun," he pointed in the direction of the happy sounds.

"Yes the children love the snow,"Ilid chuckled. "I couldn't help noticing that you sit here most mornings so I thought I'd come and say hello." 

"I like to listen to the children play," Ray admitted. "Reminds me of when I was a kid." He dropped his head, and Ilid saw the flash of pain reflected in his blue eyes. "Is it a big school?" he asked staring sightlessly ahead.

Ilid laughed softly. "Oh goodness no. We only have ten children, but we are very proud of the school. The older children travel to the next town, but the little ones begin their learning here," Ilid explained.

Ray turned his head to the women. "That's good. Ya sound like ya love it," he said quietly.

"I do. The children make it worth it," she smiled getting to her feet. "You look cold. Would you like to come in? I tell the children a story about now. I bet you know lots of stories," she pulled Ray to his feet starting to lead him towards the small schoolhouse.

"I don't think.....," Ray started to protest.

"Oh come on Ray. The children will just love to hear some stories about life in a big city. What else are you doing?" Ilid insisted.

"Nothing I suppose," Ray answered reluctantly.

"That's settled then," she opened the door to the schoolhouse.

Once inside the small classroom, Ilid helped Ray out of his anorak hanging it with his scarf on the coats hooks. She lead him to the middle of the small room. "We sit on the floor with the children at story time," she whispered into his ear.

Ray complied sitting down on the floor crossing his legs. He sensed the children near him. He could smell their childlike smells of plasticine, candy and paint. His heart thumped loudly in his chest and he smiled what he hoped was a friendly smile. Ilid introduced him telling the children he was going to tell them a story about his adventures with Sergeant Fraser in the city. Ray took a deep breath swallowing his nervousness and began to tell the children the story about when he had first met Fraser. Despite his initial reservations, he found himself enjoying telling the story not noticing that Ilid slipped out of the room for a moment. The children quietly listened to his story laughing with him when he explained he didn't look anything like the real Ray Vecchio. Ilid came back into the room just as Ray was finishing his story. Ilid started the clapping and the children joined in. Ray shyly looked towards his hands embarrassed.

When the clapping died down, Ilid stood in front of the children. "Now children listen to me carefully. Ray is blind so he can't see you. So I think it would be nice before Ray goes home if you told him your name. And then touch him gently, so he'll know which voice belongs to which name." Ilid pointed at a small dark haired boy. "You start Edward."

Each child got up from the floor lining up in front of the slender detective. The boys stated their names loudly, solemnly shaking Ray's hand. The girls shyly took his hand whispering their names. Ray smiled at each of the children in turn, trying to memorise their individual scents and voices. The last child, a small girl with long dark plaits, moved towards Ray slowly. Instead of taking his offered hand, she flung her arms around his neck. "My name is Elise," she kissed Ray gently on the cheek. "And I think you are really brave."

Taken aback in surprise. "Thanks Elise," Ray stammered blushing.

"Now children. Get out your reading books and turn to page eight. I'll be back in a minute," Ilid instructed. She turned her attention from the children to help Ray to his feet and into his anorak and scarf. "Did you enjoy yourself?" Ilid asked as she lead him to the door.

Ray grinned foolishly. "Yeh. I did. They're great kids. And they didn't seem to mind that I couldn't see them," he murmured. 

Ilid patted his arm gently. "I have found that children tend to be good judges of character. I have learnt that what matters to children is this," she tapped his chest in the region of his heart. "You have a good one Ray Kowalski. They sensed that." 

Ray looked down embarrassed at the words. "They told me they liked ya," Ray said. "Yer their favourite teacher."

Ilid cocked her head to one side regarding the slender man in front her. She sensed that he was finding it difficult to come to terms with his blindness; she saw the anguish reflected in his blue sightless eyes. "Ray give me your hand?" Ilid said. Ray looked puzzled but lifted his hand. Ilid took it in her small hand moving it towards her face. Ray tried not to flinch as his finger tips touched ugly scar tissue covering the right side of her small face. "I was burnt in a fire when I was sixteen. But the children see past the scarring. They see the me that's inside," Ilid explained dropping Ray's hand. " Trust me when I say they see past your blindness to the real you." 

Ray thought for a moment. He smiled, and for the first time in months, it sparkled in his blue eyes. "Thanks Ilid."

"You're welcome Ray," Ilid whispered. "Now I must get back to the little monsters before they tear the place apart."

**************

Fraser stepped cautiously into the house removing his coat and hanging it neatly on the coat hook by the door. "Ray," he called. He hadn't been wrong he could definitely smell cooking coming from his small kitchen. Ray hurried towards him a happy smile on his face.

"Hiya Frase," he beamed. 

"Good evening Ray," Fraser said endeavouring to suppress the surprise in his voice. His friend looked genuinely happy, and his usual frenetic energy seemed to have returned.

"I hope yer hungry," Ray said eagerly. "I cooked."

Fraser couldn't hide the surprise from his voice this time. "You cooked?"

"Yeh," Ray frowned slightly. "It kinda took all afternoon. I cut my finger a couple of times. And burned my hand, but I got there in the end," he waved his untidily bandaged finger and hand at the Mountie. "Sit down, it won't be long," Ray indicated the table that was littered with two plates, cutlery, glasses and cups. A teapot sat in the middle of the table. Fraser decided not to tell his friend that the table cloth was on wrong with the bold pattern facing downwards.

Fraser sat down at the table, a puzzled expression on his face. "May I ask what made you decide to cook a meal for us?" 

"A little girl told me I was brave this morning," Ray turned his attention from carefully slicing a loaf of bread. "Except I know I aint been brave. I've just been a pain in the ass. Feeling sorry for myself . So I sorta decided to put that right, starting with dinner."

"I see," Fraser nodded, still confused at the change in his friend. "Can I help?" he asked.

"Nah. I'm good. Gotta do this by myself," Ray said turning back to the small stove snatching at the oven gloves. Fumbling with the door, he felt for the casserole dish. Kicking the door shut with his foot, he turned and carefully walked towards the table. Fraser smiled to himself as he noticed Ray counting out his steps to the table. He placed the dish on the table removing the lid. "Help yerself," Ray indicated the stew.

"Thank you kindly Ray," Fraser said spooning some of the unusual green looking stew onto the two plates. 

Ray brought the bread to the table and sat down in his chair. "I hope it's OK," Ray said doubtfully. "I got sorta confused with yer pots and spice thingys. He took a mouthful of the stew, pulling a face at the spicy taste. 

Fraser cautiously tasted the stew suppressing a chuckle. "I see you found the cinnamon pot Ray," he said taking a sip of water. 

"Thought it smelled kinda funny. Guess I'll have to practice more," Ray whispered sadly, not able to disguise the disappointment in his voice. "Sorry Frase. It was meant.... meant to be a thank ya for putting up with me." 

Ray slid his hand across the table to retrieve his friend's plate, but Fraser seized the hand enclosing it in his own. "It was a lovely thought, and it's just the way I like my stew," Fraser squeezed the slender hand in re-assurance, and was rewarded with a bright smile, which made his heart lurch with love.

"Really?" Ray asked still doubtful.

"Yes really Ray," Fraser assured his partner squeezing his hand again.

"Greatness," Ray pushed the plate of bread towards the Mountie. "This might help ya with the cinnamony taste," he grinned warmly.

"Thank you kindly," Fraser replied solemnly. 

The partners ate their meal in companionable silence. "Frase?" Ray looked towards his friend.

"Yes," Fraser said pouring himself a cup of tea.

"Can ya.... I mean can ya help me organise the cupboards so I can cook ya a meal again?" he asked shyly. "So I can..... can find things easier."

Fraser smiled. "Of course I will help you. It would be my pleasure."

A knock at the door interrupted Ray's reply. "I'll get it," Fraser said standing and moving towards the door. "Good evening Ilid," he said ushering the small woman into the room settling her into a large armchair.

"Hello Ray," she smiled at the blonde haired man as he entered the living room.

"Hiya Ilid," Ray smiled back in the direction of her voice. He slumped next to Fraser on the couch.

"I see introductions are not necessary," Fraser noted smiling.

"No. Ray and I met this morning. He came to school and told the children a story about your adventures in Chicago."

"He did?" Fraser exclaimed surprised. He studied his partner who was looking down blushing deeply.

"Yes. And he was a big hit with the children," she announced. "He was such a hit they made you a present as a thank you." 

Ilid produced a large folded piece of paper from her briefcase. She laid it out on the coffee table. Ray leaned forward and Fraser guided his hand towards the gift. Ray touched the paper lightly with his fingers; he could feel stones of differing textures and sizes, some wrinkled dried leaves, something that felt like ribbon and paint that had been applied so thickly he could feel the bold brush strokes.

"It's.....it's beautiful," he breathed. "Is it colourful Frase?"

"Yes Ray. It has a rainbow painted at the top in bright colours. And your name is just here," he moved his partner's fingers to some small stones that had been glued untidily spelling out Ray's name.

Ray looked towards Ilid, tears in his eyes. "Thank you Ilid. Will ya thank the children for me?" he asked.

"You could do it yourself," she replied. "Come to the school tomorrow morning. The children want to hear another story. And they have spent the afternoon writing you a small story."

"But...I can't," Ray started to protest.

"Can't what? Read the stories," Ilid interrupted. "You don't have to. They want to read their stories to you. I explained to them what is like to be blind. And they have each written about something you can no longer see so you won't forget what it looks like." She smiled and winked at Fraser. " So what do you say?"

Ray glanced sideways at Fraser. The Mountie had been quietly watching his friend. "What do ya think Frase?" he asked doubt in his voice.

"I think you should say yes," Fraser agreed with Ilid. "You love children, and they obviously seem to like you."

Ilid jumped to her feet. "That's settled then. The children and I will see you at eleven tomorrow," she said.

"OK," Ray agreed as Fraser showed Ilid to the door. 

Closing the door, Fraser turned back to his friend. His partner was crying silently his fingers splayed over the childrens' present; concerned he hurried over and drew the smaller man into a warm embrace.

"Ssshh. Ray. What's wrong? I thought you would be happy," Fraser soothed.

Ray choked. "I am," he sniffed. "I...... I have felt so useless just recently. I didn't think anyone would want me ever....ever again. It's been so dark and lonely. I was afraid to reach..... reach out. But I..... I kinda feel like the light came back on today. Or may be it was there all the time, but I just couldn't see it."

Fraser bit his lip trying to stifle his own tears. "Oh Ray. You have never been alone. And you are wanted. You have always been wanted and needed." Ray turned his face towards the Mountie his brow wrinkled in confusion. "By..... by me," Fraser stuttered touching Ray's pale face tenderly.

Ray pulled away from the Mountie. "Ya want me? But I can't..... can't see. Yer so perfect, and I'm so....," he started to say but Fraser silenced him with a finger on his lips.

"Ray. You are beautiful to me. You always have been. You always will be," he stuttered feeling bolder. Fraser had denied his feelings for so long, but he was determined to tell his partner about his love for him. "I have wanted you, needed you since the day we first met. I don't care if you can't see me. It's not important. All that is important is that I..... I love you Ray," he whispered.

"Ya do?" Ray asked hope and fear mixed in his voice. He felt the Mountie nod his head. "Oh Frase. I have loved ya for so... so long. I nearly told ya once. But after.....after the attack," he shivered slightly and Fraser pulled him closer. "I was afraid you'd....you'd pity me."

"Oh Ray. I would never pity you," Fraser re-assured his slender partner. "I love you so much Ray."

Ray shifted slightly turning his face upwards. "Can I.....can I touch ya?" Ray asked shyly. He felt Fraser nod again turning towards him. "I need to see ya," Ray moved his slender hands towards the Mountie's face.

Taking Fraser's face with both hands, Ray gently passed his hands over the surface of the Mountie's face, memorising each line and curve. His fingers shyly traced their way upwards towards the broad forehead. Sweeping his fingers outwards, he gently mapped out a path towards the Mountie's ears. Next, Ray's slender fingers moved across Fraser's cheeks softly caressing. "Yer warm," Ray whispered as he explored the shape of Fraser's nose curving his fingers upwards carefully touching the now closed eyelids. Ray abandoned Fraser's eyelids, and moved his finger tips downwards softly tracing the line of Fraser's lips. He brushed lightly over the solid chin feeling the day's stubble. 

He held Fraser's face lightly with the palms of his slender hands. Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to remember what Fraser's face looked like. The memory hit him and he grinned; he remembered Fraser standing in the snow after they had jumped from the plane. The Mountie's face smiled at him, his dark blue eyes gleaming in the sunlight, his pale skin accentuated by the whiteness of the snow surrounding him - his light. Ray knew, at that moment, that he would never again forget the face of the man he loved; it was etched in his memory forever.

"Yer beautiful," Ray murmured moving his lips upwards kissing Fraser lightly. "I love ya Ben."

At the sound of his first name, the Mountie moaned into Ray's mouth leaning into the kiss. Ray wrapped his arms around Fraser, and the partners kissed passionately tongues duelling and exploring each other. Coming up for breath, Fraser gently caressed his partner's face kissing him lightly on his nose.

"Make love to me," Ray whispered. "Make the darkness go away." 

Fraser stood up pulling the slender blonde with him. He wrapped his arms around Ray capturing his mouth again in a passionate kiss. His hands caressed up and down Ray's back eliciting a groan from the slender man. Ray thrust his growing arousal into Fraser's thigh. "Oh God Ray," Fraser responded by rubbing his erection into Ray's groin. Fraser started to walk backwards pulling the blonde along with him heading to the bedroom. He pulled Ray into a tight embrace as he kicked the door shut behind them. The two men slowly undressed each other discarding their clothes in an untidy heap on the floor. Fraser guided Ray's hands to his buttons and zips. 

They stood gloriously naked rubbing against each other causing a delicious friction which made both men groan in pleasure and ecstasy. Careful not to startle his partner, Fraser gently lifted Ray into his arms carrying him towards the large double bed. Laying his partner down, Fraser straddled the smaller man capturing his lips sucking and nipping. "Love ya Ben," Ray murmured running his hands up and down Fraser's back and ass. He thrust his cock upwards wringing an rapturous moan out of the usually reserved Mountie.

Knowing that touch would be important to his lover, Fraser gently caressed his hands over Ray's slender body. At the same time, he swept his tongue gently across Ray's eyelids licking his way down Ray's face towards his neck. He nibbled and sucked at the slender neck marking Ray as his. Ray turned his head exposing his shoulder and Fraser flicked his tongue in and out over the pale skin moving down the slender body until he reached Ray's nipples. Ray arched his back off the bed as Fraser sucked each nipple in turn into his warm mouth. "Oh God Ben," he moaned rotating his hips grinding his hard penis against Fraser's erection. 

Fraser moved up his body claiming Ray's lips again in a passionate kiss. His tongue requested and was granted entry and he explored Ray's warm mouth with his tongue. At the same time, he gently pushed Ray's legs apart and comfortably nestled between them. They fit together perfectly, as though they had been made for each other.

Ray moved his hand from caressing Fraser's back to between their bodies. He gently took Fraser's erection in his hand and stroked lightly up and down the hardness. His finger tip explored the slit leaking with pre-cum; Fraser gasped in pleasure thrusting his tongue further into Ray's mouth. Fraser began to pump his erection into Ray's hand. The Mountie whimpered as Ray suddenly removed his hand bringing it up once again to caress Fraser's face, exploring and memorising. Fraser looked lovingly down at his partner's blue eyes; although sightless they sparkled with love and affection for him. He moved his hand up to caress his partner's blonde hair and face. "I love you Ray," he repeated softly knowing that Ray couldn't see the love reflected in his own eyes.

"I know Ben," Ray murmured. "Love ya."

The lovers shifted as one, thrusting their erections against each other in a delightful rhythm. Their hands stroked one another gently enjoying the freedom that touch afforded them. As their thrusting became more urgent, Fraser felt his balls tighten and he cried out his lover's name as he spurted his warm semen between their sweat sheened bodies. Feeling the Mountie's strong orgasm resulted in Ray arching his back off the bed. He came hard screaming Fraser's name over and over, his seed mixing with Fraser's between their bodies.

Ray sagged back into the bed and Fraser flopped forward onto the slender body as both men struggled to control their breathing. Fraser recovered first; rolling off his lover he retrieved his discarded shirt and gently wiped their bodies clean. He lay on his side pulling Ray towards him, his arms wrapped around him protectively. Ray snuggled into the embrace. They lay in silence for a while luxuriating in each other's company and the afterglow of their love making.

"Frase?" Ray murmured.

"Yes Ray," Fraser answered.

"Can..... can I stay?" Ray asked shyly hiding his face in the Mountie's shoulder. "With ya. Here in Canada."

"Oh Ray. I have you now," Fraser kissed the top of Ray's blonde head. "I have no intention of ever letting you go."

Ray pulled back from the embrace, his voice fearful. "Are ya sure I won't..... won't be a burden to ya?"

"Ray. You will never be a burden to me. I love you. I need you," Fraser replied stroking his lover's face gently. "I know you can't see my face, but I mean every word. I would never lie to you."

"I know Ben," Ray grasped Fraser's hand as it caressed his cheek softly kissing the strong fingers. "I sorta see things differently now. It's like..... like I kinda sense things I didn't before." He kissed Fraser's hand again. "Do ya understand?"

Fraser continued to gently stroke his hand through his lover's spiky blonde hair. "Yes. I do Ray. You were always perceptive. Your other senses, like touch, taste and smell will become more heightened as you learn to use them. I'll help you," Fraser said.

Ray grinned mischievously. "Mmmm. Touching and tasting. Sounds like fun," he moved his hand up to Fraser's cheek. "Yer warm," he teased knowing that the Mountie was blushing.

"Ray," Fraser tried to scold, but it turned into a giggle as he pulled the smaller man close.

Ray thought for a moment. "Frase?"

"Yes Ray," Fraser murmured into the pale skin.

"It don't seem so dark.... dark anymore," he whispered. "Yer my light Ben. I don't think it'll ever feel dark again as long as you're here with me."

"And you are my light Ray," Fraser murmured. "You make me more happy than I have been for a long time."

"I love ya Ben. I need ya," Ray kissed his lover gently on the lips. 

"And I need and love you Ray," Fraser said gently stroking his lover's pale arm and returning the kiss.

They lay again in silence enjoying each other's company. Ray started to fidget after half an hour. Fraser sensed that he was concerned and worried again. "Ray. What's wrong?"

"I know ya said I wouldn't be a burden, and I believe ya. I really do. But what can I do?" Ray asked worried. "I have my CPD pension and Lieutenant Welsh says I will get some compensation for the attack so money aint a problem, but ........"

Fraser silenced his friend pressing his fingers on Ray's lips. "Ray. The little girl was right. You are the bravest person I know. And I know that you will succeed in anything you chose to do," he said.

"Anything huh?" Ray asked.

"Yes anything Ray," Fraser replied.

"Like may be learn ....... learn to do that mush thingy with yer team of dogs," Ray asked hopefully.

Fraser chuckled. "If you like Ray, but first I think you need to learn which spice goes in stew," he teased.

"Hardy ha ha. Funny guy," Ray grinned. "Love ya."

Fraser wrapped his arms tighter around the smaller man, hooking his leg over Ray's thigh possessively. "I love you too Ray. Very much."

The darkness descended upon the small house as the night drew in. The two men, cuddled together in each other's arms and the light of their love, relaxed until sleep claimed them both.

THE END


End file.
